Thursday, January 16, 2014

Part One: Thoughts on Psalm 9 and My Testimony of God's Grace

Reflections on Psalm 9

"I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart;
I will tell of all Your marvelous works.
I will be glad and rejoice in You;
I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2

Lord, I praise you with my voice.  I praise you with my whole being!  Isn't it amazing that on those really CRAZY busy days that sometimes, or many times, we think, Oh, I am so swamped today, I don't have time to read my Bible, or pray, or spend time with the Lord.  That is EXACTLY why we should spend time in the Word.

When I try to operate under my own strength, my own willpower, and discipline the kids or be kind to my husband, my 'fuse' is much shorter, and I find myself not as calm or slow to anger.  God, you really do give me your peace....and I certainly have to be reminded of that from time to time.

Lord, help me to be bold today to share your excellent greatness with others.  For many years, I believed myself to be 'saved.' Meaning, when I die I would go to Heaven.  I was eight when I said a "sinner's prayer," which means I said a prayer stating that I knew I was a sinner (I had done wrong things against God), and I wanted to ask Jesus Christ for forgiveness and to have him be Lord of my life.  I'm sure that I meant it at that time, but not a lot was preached on the repentance side of the equation.  I mean by the ripe old age of  eight, (ha, ha) yes, I had done wrong things, but I surely didn't understand the full meaning of giving my heart to the Lord, and being broken over my sin.  My heart wasn't yet aching at the sin in the world, like God's heart was aching.

Have you ever heard of the saying, "Walks like a duck, smells like a duck, must be a duck"?   Surely, that phrase fit me for about 20 years...

"Walks like a Christian, smells like a Christian, must be a Christian."

I went to church faithfully, I didn't curse, I didn't hang out with the bad crowd, I didn't smoke, or drink...so it looked like I was a Christ follower.  However, my heart was far from him.  Looking back now, I see that I was really playing the game of being a Christian, but I knew something was wrong.  What was the state of my heart?  Did I dabble in sin and excuse it away?  Did I read popular romance novels and rationalize it that they were okay, mostly?  Did I go to watch a popular movie at the theaters that was rated R, but "it was really good movie, except for this one part!"  Did I allow friends to bring over movies that I would never even dream of renting and then allow them to watch them at my place?!

Yes sir, I looked like a Christ follower, but really, my heart was ugly with sin. Filthy and covered with the slime of this world.  I was in such a habit of doing the right thing for the right thing's sake.  Finally, after 20 years, marriage and two children later,  I joined a Bible study group that was studying, Henry Blackaby's study, called "Experiencing God."  When I first heard that our church was offering this, I didn't need to pray about joining; I joined on the spot.  I instinctively knew that I was not where I needed to be spiritually and I was dry, parched and in search of living water.  I had no idea the journey that this would take me on.  To my surprise, my husband joined the group also.

This study encouraged accountability partners, reading in the Bible daily, praying daily, and then weekly group discussions, study and prayer.  It was at this point, that God started getting into me...not just me getting into the Word. 

More to come....

Your Pardner,
Holly




No comments:

Post a Comment